We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
