I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
