is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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