Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
