Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize