So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
