White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
