Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
