She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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