I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
