you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Acid is not a monday night drug
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
