my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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