Midget sex pt 2 tonight
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
