doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have fence marks all over my body
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
