you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
