people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
