She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
