I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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