hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
this hospital has no fireball
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
