how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
