just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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