Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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