if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize