I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize