i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
