how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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