She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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