lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
