I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
