Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
