I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
