haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
