Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
