my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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