Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
