My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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