I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
