That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
