i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
