So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
