I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
