Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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