I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
