I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
40s are totally the cure
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
