The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
