Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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