ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
