Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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