This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
