If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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