somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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