she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The ass gains better be worth it
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