just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
