they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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