That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
