I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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