she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
