You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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