new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
