found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
